5 tips of what not to do to your child during divorce

Children are the ones who usually suffer the most from a divorce. Being innocent and usually very young, they have to face life living separated from one parent. It is never their fault and they should never be in the epicenter of a divorce.

However, sometimes parents make mistakes that affect their children’s further psychological development. Here are 5 things you should avoid doing to your child during your divorce.

Send A Message

In most situations, parents try and communicate with each other through their children. They use their child as a messenger courier. “Tell your father/mother that” is the worst thing you can make your child do.

Your child has a relationship with both of you, and as parents, it is your duty to protect your child from any unnecessary exposure and involvement in your divorce. Act like an adult, and solve your problems face to face with your spouse. Don’t let your child get caught in the middle.

If your spouse did the same thing to you, contact our Family Law Attorneys and seek their legal help and guidance. With their knowledge of the situation, they will be able to help you divorce and protect your child at the same time.

Asking For Money

Never tell your child to go to the other parent asking for money. This is something many have done in the past, and when discovered, it only hurt their divorce. This is actually something that can be used against you in court; if your (ex)spouse finds out that you are trying to obtain money by falsely claiming that it is for your child’s school project or a field trip, legal actions can be taken against you. Be extremely cautious around money, and don’t maneuver your child into doing something for your own’s sake.

Telling Lies

If you are seeing someone else, don’t ask your child to keep it as a secret from your ex-spouse. Sometimes keeping the secret is the same as lying. Don’t put your child in a position where he or she will have to lie to their other parent for your own’s sake.

Being Selfish

Your child wants to have both parents in his/her life. Just because you gained custody, it doesn’t mean that you can take the other parent out of your child’s life. Plus, it is an unnatural thing to do. Your child should feel loved and cared for, and just because you have a grudge with your ex, it doesn’t mean that your child should suffer the consequences. Be a good parent, and put your child’s needs first and above all others.

If you need help with your divorce or want to try and change your custody plan, be sure to contact our Salt Lake City Divorce Attorneys as early as possible

Dysfunctional Parents

Your child needs both of you, now more than ever. Attending school plays and other school activities is something both parents should do, whenever possible. Don’t be that divorced couple that sits on opposite side of the room. Instead, sit next to each other and show your child how proud you (both) are. That is what a good parent would do.

What Can You Do If You’re Getting a Divorce in the Middle of an Adoption in Utah?

So you and your spouse decided to adopt a baby. However, something went wrong and now your spouse (or you) filled for a divorce. How does it affect the adoption process and can it be continued?

First of all, it is important to understand that a divorce won’t necessarily end the adoption process, but it may be a huge obstacle along the way.

As you may know, there are several types of adoptions. Each and every one of them is different in nature and legal aspect. If you are going through a divorce, the final word on your adoption process may be issued by the judge or the biological parents of the child.

Here are some things you should know about adoption and what you can do when facing a divorce.

The Original Idea

Before you filed your adoption papers, what was the original agreement? Was it that the child will be going to a married couple? If that we what the biological parents were told, perhaps it is time to visit them again and alter the proposed terms of adoption.

However, if the biological parents agreed to give the child to you, without any requests that you and your spouse must stay together no matter what, you should have a good chance of adopting the child you wanted while getting divorced at the same time.

This can be best explained to you by one of our Salt Lake City Adoption Attorneys. Call today and schedule a free initial consultation, and learn what laws in Utah may stand in your way.

Foster Care Adoption

Unlike consensual adoption, foster care adoption has different rules and regulations. In this case, the biological parents have no rights in deciding where their child should go as their rights have been terminated by the state. They will have no legal say in the adoption process.

The only one with the power to make the adoption happen (or not) is the judge. As you are going through a divorce, your judge will make a final decision and decide which one of you will get the child, or if the adoption process will be terminated. Again, there are many factors that will be taken into consideration, as the child has to be provided with a home, care, nurturing and love.

If your divorce is not a friendly one, the chances are that none of you will get the chance to adopt the child. So you are left with 2 options:

• Talk to your spouse about it and try and find common ground
• Contact our Salt Lake City Divorce Attorneys and let them help you potentially secure the adoption.

As the chances are that you and your spouse may not be able to come to terms, your best option is to get legal representation and involve them in the adoption process as well. Keep in mind that it is the judge’s decision that is final, and even if things look good for you, the judge may drop the adoption case.

The Most Common Causes Leading to Divorce

Some people believe that marriage is a sacred thing, the culmination of love that lasts forever. Other on the other hand believes that it is a necessary “joint partnership” so that two people can have an easier life.

Regarding your vision of marriage, you should be aware that in the United States, almost 50 percent of marriages end up with a divorce. And that is not the end of it; since 2014, the divorce rate has started to climb drastically and continues to do so even today.

Understanding the main reasons behind a divorce may help you avoid it. Here is why couples file for a divorce, and the most common causes of it.

Married To Fast

Getting married too soon will increase the chances of a divorce. Many people don’t give each other a chance to show their real habits, life plans, or focus on their career. After getting married too fast, the spouses (both or one of them) may realize that they want to focus on their career or want to “live life to the fullest” before settling in. Again, the inexperience and youth are an important factor, and the majority of young couples will have an unhappy marriage or end with a divorce.

If your marriage is such, and you want to know more about Divorce in Salt Lake City, call one of our attorneys today, schedule your initial free consultation and learn how you can become free once again, in a timely manner.

Infidelity

It is no secret that cheating and marital infidelities are a major reason why people divorce. There is simply no tolerance for such behavior. In the latest research, studies have shown that almost 41 percent of people engage in some sort of emotional or physical infidelity after getting married. Also, the acts of infidelity are evenly split between the genders.

It is the number one action followed by immediate divorce.

Boredom

Human beings need to constantly recharge their batteries with new things in life. They need to experience new things, see new places, feel new feelings. Otherwise, boredom is inevitable. And once boredom kicks in, things start to fall apart.

Losing interest in your partner is a clear sign of boredom, usually followed by a request for a divorce. Intimacy can atrophy, and the relationship can fade over time.

Financial Problems

According to the Family Law Attorney from Salt Lake City, another very common reason behind a divorce is the issue with the finances. If you and your spouse are having financial issues (such as debt, late mortgage payments, credit card issues), divorce may be imminent. Money is one of the main reasons why people part ways. Any disagreement over such topics can lead even the long-standing couples into the abyss of divorce. Be extremely careful when handling your marital finances, as every wrong move may be the last one you make as a married person.

Other common reasons worth mentioning are:

• Alcohol and drug abuse

• Gambling issues

• Differences in background

• Lack of romance

• Loss of autonomy

• Bad communication (breakdown)

Mistakes to avoid and tips to follow during Divorce

If you and your spouse simply cannot get along anymore, perhaps getting a divorce is the best option. It is never an easy decision, but it is inevitable when both of you simply cannot stand each other anymore.

Divorces are known for being complicated and expensive. However, you can make it even more expensive for you, and lose so much more than you anticipated.

Here are the most common mistakes people make during a divorce, and a few suggestions on how to avoid making them.

Choosing The Wrong Divorce Process

Did you know that you have more than one option when it comes to filing a divorce? If your parents divorced in court through a long and exhausting and traumatic trial, you can avoid all of that and save both you and your spouse a lot of money and time.

The following options are available:

• Mediation
• Negotiation
• Collaborative law

It is important to be aware of your choices before you make one. Once you do, there is no going back. You can always end up fighting in court, but why not avoid it in the first place if you can? Consult with our Divorce Attorney Salt Lake City before filing for a Divorce.

Choose Your Lawyer Carefully

Another thing that can completely ruin your divorce is a bad or inexperienced attorney. Before you choose an attorney to represent you, consider asking them about the following :

• Working experience
• Previous work
• Available time to fully commit
• Resources
• Good negotiator?
• Determination and expertise

Besides other qualities, these traits make a good divorce attorney. Your only job is to schedule several different consultations and speak with several different attorneys before deciding to hire one of them. Choose your attorney carefully, as that choice may be the difference between winning it all and losing it all.

Posting on Social Media

If you and your spouse are going through a hard time and have decided to hire a Family Law Attorney to try and help you solve your family issues, you don’t have to go public on it. Posting what is going on with your marriage on social media is the worst thing you can do, especially if you are going through a divorce. Remember that everything you say (or post on social media) can and will be used against you. The attorney your spouse hired will definitely check your social media pages, and look for posts that may be used in their favor. This involves pictures, thoughts, statuses, videos, or even getting tagged in someone else’s post.

Remember to remain “off the grid” for the duration of your divorce, and save yourself a lot of money in the process. Other things to consider avoiding while going through a divorce are:

• Rushing to solve things
• Disregarding the tax implications of your final settlement
• Signing documents without reading them
• Talking with your kids and trying to win them over
• Letting emotions take over
• Not considering your kid’s best interests
• Refusing to compromise with your spouse

Benefits of Hiring an Attorney During Paternity

Paternity represents the process of establishing a relationship between a father and a child. In most cases, it is a very complicated process, one that involves a lot of paperwork, many different testing and a lot of money.

A legal father is any person who established parenthood over a child, the one who bears both the rights and responsibilities of being a parent. This person may not be related to the child by blood, but can still become his "legal father".

If you are eager to learn the benefits of hiring an attorney during paternity, there are several reasons why you should do it.

Paternity is Determined Through the Court System

When a woman with a child gets married, paternity is automatically assigned to the husband. Paternity can also be automatically assigned when the child is born, regardless who the father is.

In some occasions, paternity cannot be established voluntarily. When this happens, the whole process goes to court. Our Salt Lake City Paternity Attorneys advise from an experienced point of view that you should hire an attorney to represent you and help you with paternity. They will make the whole process easier, help you with the paperwork, and collect the documents for you. Additionally, an attorney can do everything on your behalf, while you sit at home and take care of your family. Instead of having to go to court several times a week, you will only go once when called.

Everything goes through court, which is why it is important to have someone backing you up, someone with legal knowledge and experience in handling such situations.

An Attorney will Help you Organize DNA Tests

Some states don't require a DNA test to establish paternity. If a woman and a man cannot agree on the parenthood of the child, both may require a DNA analysis. If any of the parties refuses to undergo a DNA analysis, an attorney can "make" them do the testing.

When confronted with such situation, it is always better to request help from a legal professional. Here at The Ault Legal Firm, we ensure that everything is done by the law and regulations. Our Paternity Attorneys in Salt Lake City have decades of combined experience and have dealt with numerous cases in the past. They will gladly assist you with your paternity form, help you gather all required documents, and arrange a DNA or any other analysis if necessary. Be sure to give us a call during business hours, or send us an email. Schedule your free initial consultation, and learn why it is advised to have an attorney on your side.

The Case will Go to Court

In the end, it all goes through court. A Judge will most likely have to rule on the validity of a paternity test results. In some cases, the man who is identified as a father may deny his fatherhood. This is where attorneys play a serious role; they can represent both parties involved, and see that everything is done properly and "by the book".

Calculate Child Support in Utah

After going through a divorce, you will be faced with many arrangements that have to be made with your spouse. One of them is child support.

In Utah, the law states that both parents have to be able to sustain their children financially. In order to determine the amount to be paid, many factors are taken into consideration:

• Total gross income of both parents


• The number of children


• Custody agreements

Listed below are some guidelines that will help you understand how child support is calculated in Utah, and everything that is taken into consideration before a final decision is made by the court.

The Income

The first thing that is taken into consideration when calculating child support is the income of both parents. We are talking about a gross income, one that includes:

• Salary
• Capital gain
• Rent
• Social security benefits
• Unemployment benefits

All sources of income are taken into consideration, except:

• Welfare benefits
• General assistance
• Housing subsidies

If you contact one of our Salt Lake City Child Support Attorneys, you will get a better insight into the whole child custody, and receive much needed legal guidance on the matter. Feel free to give us a call and schedule your free initial consultation.

Calculating the Child Support

Utah State Legislature has a “formula” which is used to calculate child support payments. The following things are taken into consideration when determining the amount of child support:

• Financial needs of the child
• Daycare, insurance, special needs
• Needs and income of the parent who received custody
• The income and ability of the supporting parent
• Child’s living standard before and after a divorce

Once the amount is set by the court, there could be a few adjustments over time. The following is taken into consideration before these adjustments are made:

• The living standard of the parent
• Relative wealth and income of the parent
• Ability to earn income (the paying parent)
• Ability to earn income (the receiving parent)
• In case of an incapacitated child, his/her ability to earn income. Also, disability benefits are taken into consideration
• Needs of both parents and their children
• Is there a spouse support involved?
• The age of both parents

Once everything is carefully investigated and confirmed, child attorney can be reduced or increased, depending on the conditions.

Child Support Order Changes

Finally, the court can decide whether or not to change or modify the child support order. In order for any change to take place, the other party has to provide evidence of change in circumstances. Here are the most common changes that may take place after a modification:

• Either parent’s job change
• Receipt of an additional income
• Increased living costs
• Disability
• Child’s increased needs

Sometimes, the court can issue temporary modifications, under the following circumstances:

• If the child has a medical emergency
• The paying parent lost his/her job due to injury or illness
• The hardship of the recipient parent

You can contact one of our Family Law Attorneys in Salt Lake City for any additional information or if you have any other questions concerning the child support in Utah. They will gladly help you with anything.

Tips for helping your child during the divorce

Going through a divorce is never easy for the spouses. They have to deal with the constant argument, asset division, and many other stressful and exhausting things.

In the constant chaos, they barely have any time to tend to their children’s needs. This is where things start to go wrong.

Did you know that almost 2/3 of all children of divorced parents end up developing some of the following conditions:

• Depression


• Anxiety


• Social anxiety


• Hyper ego


• Sleep deprivation


• Temper tantrums


• Substance abuse


• Hostile behavior


• Lack of focus

In order to prevent your child from developing any of the following conditions as a result of your divorce, use these tips and do whatever you can to protect your child from the aftermath of your failed marriage.

Think Children First

No matter what you are dealing with, you have to think about your children first and do everything you can to protect them. If you can, avoid fighting and arguing with your spouse in front of them, avoid talking bad things about your spouse in front of them, avoid bringing them up in your heated arguments with your spouse.

Surround your children with love, and create a loving and caring bubble around them. Protect them with all your might, and don’t let your failed marriage ruin their early lives. They deserve to be happy and enjoy the love and comfort they receive from both parents. Don’t take it away from them, it is not their fault.

If you end up getting a Divorce in Salt Lake City, consider hiring an attorney to protect your best interests. However, keep in mind that you have to find common ground with your spouse in order to protect your child’s best interest.

Talk About The Emotions

Your children may feel different emotions, which may seem confusing at the time. Talk to them and help them understand what is going on. Be sure to tell that they will always have both parents at their side, and encourage them to be strong. Try and talk with them in the way that they can understand what is going on. Prepare them for a change, and say things like “You will spend the weekdays with your mommy, and your weekends with your daddy”. They may find it hard to understand at first and get adjusted to the changes, but when surrounded with love and support, they will accept it in time.

Speak with a Family Law Attorney in Salt Lake City and learn how you can devise a custody plan, one that will be perfect for your child’s needs and suit both you and your spouse’s needs.

It is Not Their Fault

Make sure your children understand that divorce is not their fault. Explain to them that you and your spouse need to go your separate ways, but that you will always be there for them.

Most kids tend to be egocentric and believe that the whole thing is their fault. Your job is to ensure them that your decision is based strictly on your relationship with your spouse.

Give them love and infinite support. Choose your words with care, and do whatever you can to protect them from your divorce.